On Being Content

I timidly knocked on the door, not really sure what to expect.  I couldn't believe that I had finally made it, that I was finally there.  All those years of longing, all those years of wandering, all those those years of wondering.  All of that came to an end as the door opened up.

I only had to knock once, and the door quickly opened up, and then I saw Him.  I couldn't believe it was Him!  I fell at His feet, speechless, not knowing what to say.  A lifetime of talking about Him, of reading about Him, and I now I fell down as a dead man.  Without words, he picked me up.  I hadn't expected Him to greet me.  I thought a servant would, surely He would be to busy for someone as lowly as me.  But He greeted me warmly, as He picked me up off the floor giving the best embrace I had ever had.  In that embrace, all my fears melted away, all my concern about not belonging, all of them were gone.  For in His face and in His touch I knew and felt His love for me.

We walked into a room where a great meal was taking place.  The place was beautiful, of course. But in this room, the banqueting hall, I felt that love and and passion He had for all who were there.  And there were people as far as the eye could see in every direction.  He knew them all by name, and they knew Him, of course!  The joy in the room was contagious as we found a spot to sit down and eat.

The food came, like nothing you'd ever seen before.  More than anyone could ever eat, but none of it seemed to go to waste.  Always hot, never ending, the feast carried on and on. But the food was not why were there.  It was to be with Him.  To see Him. To give Him the honor that he deserved.  Everyone there was there for the same purpose.  Him.

The guy next to me had only been there a few days, he said.  They guy across from him for years!  Everywhere I turned I saw familiar faces, but then again, everyone looked familiar.  Even though we were all different races and spoke different languages, we all understood each other.  We all got along.  We were family.

He was always there, the head of our family.  He continued to walk amongst us, constantly bringing new people to the table.  And there was always room for one more!

I stopped Him one day.  I was so grateful for the feast, for the family, for the love.  For the table he provided, and for being fed.

"But could you get some more variety?", I asked.  "It's not that I'm ungrateful.  I'm very grateful!  I just want something else. Something more, something different, you know? You see, I saw what the man next to me had, and it looked good.  So I got it, but then I didn't like it.  I just want something different.   Nothing fancy, I'm not asking for much.  Just more.  I just want more.  More. More. More"

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." - Phl 4:11-13 

The Lord has been dealing with me about contentment.  I am never satisfied, always asking for more.  To say I'm thankful but then constantly yearn for more is the epitome of selfishness, of turning my eyes on myself.  Christ supplies all my needs, whether I'm in heaven or not, and I must "learn", as Paul did, the secret of being content.  It's a slow process.  


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