Yes and No

Some one left a comment on my post below about Habbakuk, and it made me mad and hurt. I left a comment for him, but then quickly went and deleted it. Honestly, I have been blogging for close to two years now and I don't get many comments like that. For me blogging is just more of a way to pound out what is in my head. What he said had some truth. I didn't explain the whole situation, so there is no way anyone could know everything that goes on in my life, but he did have truth. But it did seem rather accusatory. Anyways, I am over it. I promise. On to bigger things.

I am selfish. I worry about myself a lot. I know there are people out there that have it tougher than I do. I was one of those people at different times in my life. What the commenter said got me thinking. Why do I cry out to God for myself? Why do I find it so difficult to weep and cry for others? Jesus lived his whole life knowing he was going to die. Everytime he walked by a cross as a child or young man, He knew He would die on one someday. He knew the people he healed, that he ate with, that he discipled, would someday betray Him. He knew that, but still he loved them. Still he sat with them across the dinner table, still he washed their feet. Still he was nailed to the cross.

How did he do that? The answer to me is clear. He loved them. Not some sappy stupid puppy love, or love you as long as you are good to me. It was a love from the beginning of time. He loves us freely according to Hosea 14:4. Not only that he made himself vulnerable. That's what true love is. Being vulnerable. Opening up yourself. Pretty much allowing yourself to be hurt. I have been praying alot recently that God would teach me to love like He does. To put his love in me, to make me aware of it so that I can share it to others. And so He has.

God continue to allow me to open up my heart to others. To live like you lived. To love like you love. Teach me Father, bring those people into my life that I need to love. And let me love them with the love you have given me. We love because you first loved us.


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