He's Doing it Again

Just when I begin to wander away from God, He always pulls me back toward Him. I sit here without a home or a job, and I love it. How can God continue to move my heart toward Him? He has put in me a renewed desire for prayer, and and urgency to call out to His name. I wish I could never get off my knees. I long to wrestle with God in the deep places of my heart, to agonize for the lost, to weep over my sin. I want to spend all my time in prayer with Him. I lose the words sometimes, I don't know what to say. But still my heart cries out to him. I want to sweat drops of blood over the sin of my nation. I want to fall on my knees in His presence. I find lately that all I can say to Him is Father, Come. Holy Spirit Come. Father Come. Father Come. Father Come. For this is my hearts cry. This is the desire of my heart. Come into my life. Shed your love abroad in my heart. Come onto my campus. Come into all my conversations. Come into my study for seeminly worthless classes. Father Come. I will die without you. He continues to move me towards desperation, where if he does not come through for me I will fail. Father Come. Without Him, I truly believe I will physically die. I cannot make it with out him.

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