How Do I Know?

As you might could tell by my previous post, I think I am at a strange place in my life. The whole world is seeking, seeking, for God, or at least a god, in some way or another. Even born again christians are. But then when we find it, it's not what we expected. Not trying to be redundant, but this is what God has laid on my heart this past week.

My whole life I have sat and listened. I have sought after God in many places. I did not look in many places the world looks. God spared me from a lot of that. The bible promises we will find Him when we look with all our hearts. How do I know when I find him?

I thought when I found God, somehow my life would get easier. Instead, it seems to have gotten harder. I thought being filled with the Holy Spirit would make things better. It makes me more pained over the sin in my life, and those people I minister to. I can't sit and watch a football game, because all I can think about is how so many people are entertained by this stupid game, and none of it matters. I think about how many of those players are lost and going to hell. That is all I think about. The movies I see, how can I be entertained by those people who are lost and going to hell?

My life is grieved by the sin in my own life. The things I fill my mind with. How I waste my day away on the stupid computer when peoples souls are on the line. I am consumed with the kingdom of God. I breathe it, I eat it, I sleep it, I see it all the time. People, we must be urgently about the business of the Lord. We must let Him consume us.

Don't Do It. If you don't want your life changed, don't seek after God. If you don't want to be sleepless because of a lost and dying world, don't come seeking after God. This might sound harsh to you. But it is true. All of you who read this, know that I love you, and my heart is pained for every second you are away from God. My friends and the strangers. But the kingdom of Heaven is not for the lazy. It is not for the undisciplined. We are waging a war. We must march forward as soldiers of the light, fighting to dispel the darkness that cages the world in.

I would not trade it for anything. Thank you, Father.

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